We’ve been talking about love with students at JbarJ Church in Ruidoso. I sent out this question last week, “why does love seem to fizzle-out in so many relationships?”
Some of the answers I received via text message:
“because some people don’t know what they want… when you think you need to be in a relationship because everyone else is”
“we are too young and immature to make a commitment to anyone and don’t understand what love really is”
“because they ‘decide’ they don’t wanna be with that person. Since it’s a decision. And to that person they aren’t loyal and don’t trust any more”
“Love has its ups and downs. If you stay down too long you are long gone. It’s like a rose, it blooms if you don’t supply water or love it fizzles and dies. Love is a rose- it needs attention”
“I think love fizzles out because people at this age don’t know what they want and think love is what is shown on TV when it truthfully is just being happy and knowing that no matter what happens they will always be therefor you and if something goes wrong, you will still have them- like with love in anyway… mom, dad or boy/girl friend”
Here is the big idea we looked at: Real Love doesn’t quit.
When we look at real love, we see that God’s love for me has never quit. No matter how bad it has been, God has loved me. Love fizzles out because people are loving in a way that quits. Quitting can go back to lots of different sources including selfishness, pride and even betrayal. The bottom line is that when love fizzles in any relationship, it quits.
God’s love in Hosea.
We talked about the book of Hosea. If you haven’t spent some time in this book, check it out. It is about a prophet who is preaching to God’s people in the Old Testament. God’s people had not been faithful to uphold their end of the covenant and Hosea is a prophet God used to get their attention. He married a prostitute; she was unfaithful and cheated on Hosea. God told Hosea to do all of this so that His people would see that they had been cheating on God. When we sin, we cheat on God. We give up a good life with God to go to work as a prostitute for our own sin. It is disgusting. We cheapen ourselves and though we have a faithful partner, we choose to give ourselves away to whom ever or whatever will give us what we think we need.
Think about this: in the midst of me cheating on God, God is still loving us. He chooses to remain faithful to me even when I am unfaithful to Him. Love according to and defined by God does not quit. ever.
Don’t be fooled here! God’s love for us brings us to a point where we can return to Him just like in Hosea. Some stop here and say, “oh well, God loves everyone no matter what so it doesn’t matter what I do, who I worship or what I believe.” Because God loves us, he remains consistent to His promises- both those that save us and those that condemn our sins. His love is this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8). The ball is in our court in that we must decide who we will follow and worship; God’s promise is that if we choose life in Christ we will have our death sentence paid through the blood of Christ. If we don’t then we must pay our own. God’s love is there but we must turn to Him for saving. God’s is faithful with all his promises- all of them! Don’t forget this!
So we are obviously not God and we aren’t perfect. What’s the point for me today?
The point for us today is that we need to model our understanding of love after God’s example of love. I need to take on the task of loving my wife with God’s love as my template. I want to imitate God’s love when I love my wife. Choosing a mate is a big thing because God calls me to love this person for the rest of my life; my love for my wife is not supposed to quit. No matter what I feel like, how frustrated I am with my wife or what happens- if I love like God loves me, I won’t quit. It is a vulnerable place to be- real love is an all-in experience… that’s why the institution of marriage is a sacred thing and not something to mess with (sexually, spiritually or emotionally).
People who aren’t married- listen up. Instead of trying to love your boyfriend or girlfriend with everything you have- just commit to love your future spouse in a way that won’t quit. Make a commitment to love your husband or wife in a way that is far greater than anything you give your flings along the way. If you don’t get this right and choose to fall in and out of ‘love’ several times before saying “i do”… your understanding of love for your spouse is going to be messed up. The implications of this go deep- but they start with you choosing to love your spouse today.
My answer for why love isn’t working for some people is that many approach love without God’s love as their blueprint. You don’t want your marriage to end in divorce? Study God’s love and then model your idea of love after God’s. Sharing and illustrating God’s love with the world comes when husbands love their wives other as Christ loved the church.
